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Poetry D Jour by Beryl McMullen coming December, 2010

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Author Topic: Clothing disasters. Volume 6.  (Read 320 times)
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« on: January 09, 2018, 09:39:36 AM »

In 1970, I was hanging around with my best friends Derek Johnson and Allan Chance.
This was at the time because of my colour hair, I was BEGGING everyone I knew, to start calling me ''Red''
Red Adair, the oil rig firefighter was world famous around then and I SO wanted to share the same nickname..

Eventually after MUCH pleading, I finally got someone to call me 'Red'
Ok, she was only six but at least it was a start, I just needed a few others to start the ball rolling.

Janice Smith did.
After seeing her over the Chippy with one of her friends, I shouted across Revesby Walk ''Hello Janice''
Back came the reply... sigh...''Hello Leslie''

''Er Janet, can you call me Red please? Y'now, like in RED ADAIR''

'Red? RED?Huh? bleedin' RED?Huh?? she softly sniggered..
''Ok then I will...and give my love to Ginger Rodgers''

Anyway at about the same time I bought my first pair of Loons.
GOD they were tight! I could have painted them on and had a little more testicle room.
To cap it off they never even had proper pockets.
All they had was a tiny little patch INSIDE the waist band that you could store a bus ticket in.
Sigh...and they were too short.
I was the only kid I'd ever seen wearing Loon shorts.

Oh and later that year I bought myself a Blue and white Polo neck jumper.
It had a navy blue chest and sleeves and the polo neck bit was white wool.
When I put it on, I looked just like Vicar Thomas.

It was the Summer of 1969 and I bought some tweed wool hipsters.
It was BLISTERING hot, my Tweed hipsters were half inch thick and almost bullet proof.
They were also the itchiest item of clothing that has ever been worn in human history.

After enduring a complete day of agony I finally took them off on the night to reveal two, red and glowing, pin thick legs, I'd lost every hair on my shins, 14 toe nails had fallen off due to the excessive heat and my knees has been worn away to the bone..

I had to wear them again the next Monday because someone had stolen my Levi's off my clothes line.

In 1970 I also bought some Flares.
Oh Christ, what have I done?
The model in the shop poster wore them with style and panache..
Me? I looked like a drunken Popeye.

1969 I bought a St Christopher medallion and chain.
It was SO bloody cheap they wouldn't take money for it, I had to trade something like 5 Ant pelts to make the purchase.
I can remember the woman looking at it now.
This lady was SERIOUSLY struggling to say something nice about it..
She stood there frowning for a good 5 minutes and I actually saw the light go on in her head.

''Oh wow'' she said..
''DIAMOND cut!''

I slithered out the shop under the welcome mat.
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« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2018, 03:31:57 PM »

Lol Red so funny you were a dedicated follower of fashion.
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