BIRMINGHAM AND SURROUNDING COUNTIES FORUM
October 23, 2018, 11:13:50 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
Did you miss your activation email?

Login with username, password and session length
News:
 
   Home   Help Search Login Register  

Poetry D Jour by Beryl McMullen coming December, 2010


Notice: The forum is being looked after by Garden Gerald, Nick and Townie.

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 10
 1 
 on: September 28, 2018, 11:32:35 AM 
Started by GardenGerald - Last post by GardenGerald
Please sign into
birminghamandsuburbs.freeforums.net

Best wishes
Gerald.

 2 
 on: September 28, 2018, 11:28:37 AM 
Started by GardenGerald - Last post by GardenGerald
WE ARE IN LOCK DOWN BECAUSE OF CAPCHA HOW DO WE GET RID OF IT.
GERALD

 3 
 on: September 24, 2018, 08:00:56 PM 
Started by townie - Last post by peggygirl
garden gerald,nick & townie, it was regarding the steam engines & i was wondering if anyone had heard of Kenneth G O'Neill or Ken or Kenny, he was my dad who worked from Duddeston depot on the steamers, he left when they changed to diesels he didnt like them ha. He worked on them 50's to early 60's he was the fireman, came home black as night, but when he did the night runs he's come home with little pressies for us girls & leave them by the fireplace for us to find them in the mornings, he told us once that he liked the run up to Conwy.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, regards Peggygirl

 4 
 on: September 19, 2018, 05:13:06 PM 
Started by Kandor - Last post by Langstraat
Hello Langstraat
Thanks for telling Kandor.
The new forum is attracting people to look, want to get them
posting now.
Best wishes
Gerald.
Gerald,
You need to send out a round robin email to *all* old members and invite them to the new address

** not necessarily all Wink

 5 
 on: September 19, 2018, 04:20:38 PM 
Started by Kandor - Last post by GardenGerald
Hello Langstraat
Thanks for telling Kandor.
The new forum is attracting people to look, want to get them
posting now.
Best wishes
Gerald.

 6 
 on: September 19, 2018, 12:09:58 PM 
Started by Kandor - Last post by Langstraat
Cheesy  Luckily my hair is white these days. 

So this site...is it finished now?

Well, at least you have hair, lucky you.

Yeah the forum has switched platforms because of the internal admin problems encountered.

To continue the legacy of your prose to those of us willing to learn and be enlightened.

Try:

BirminghamandSuburbs.freeforums.net


Sent from my iPad

 7 
 on: September 19, 2018, 05:38:32 AM 
Started by Kandor - Last post by Kandor
 Cheesy  Luckily my hair is white these days. 

So this site...is it finished now?

 8 
 on: September 18, 2018, 03:57:21 PM 
Started by Kandor - Last post by Langstraat
Re.
People who just walk straight past without even a nod when you've stood there for 10 seconds holding the door open..rude bastards.

Maybe they think all gingers are doormen. Cool

 9 
 on: September 17, 2018, 04:01:32 AM 
Started by Kandor - Last post by Kandor
Girly and damp, limp handshakes..when you shake a mans hand and it feels like you have half a Haddock in it.
 
Women at the front of a checkout who when the total comes up, you see a look of surprise come across their face as they realise, yes, you DO have to pay for it..and only then rummage through their handbag to find the cash.
 
Bins not emptied properly.
 
Drivers whose brains work at the same speed as a heavily drugged snail.
You wait hours at the junction behind them, while they carefully scan the distance with high powered binoculars to see if there is any sign of another car coming in this lifetime...just **** GO!
 
Woman who ask you to comment on their hair, clothes, figure etc, knowing whatever answer you give is the wrong one.
 
People who follow me around the internet (which DOES take some effort) then complain about what I write..get a life will you.
If you dont like what I wriite about, dont read it..'simples' Vgghhtt.
 
Waiting for a Petrol station operator to press the 'ok' button so my pump will start....take YOUR time why dont you? after all you're in a nice warm kiosk and I'm outside with the rain dripping off my testicles.
 
Computers that crash, taking 30 minutes work with them.
Women who get court orders against me just because I'm stalking them.
 
Airline check ins where you have to suspend all humour until you get off the plane at the other end.
Talking to call centres 5000 miles away..yes I know learning Gujarati would ease the whole experience but hey..I'm in England, cant you just learn English instead?
 
Police officers who stop you then talk to you like you're a 5 year old, worse still, you have to listen and smile politely to even stand a hope of getting away with it...then the bastards still do you.
 
Safety cameras on dual carriageways and motorways...not many school crossings likely to be found there, is there ?
 
Standing in the carvery at the Pretty Pigs pub and knowing the 'Roasties' are going to run out just as I get there.
 
Walking into a chip shop at lunchtime and the guy saying..'They'll be ready in 5 minutes'  BASTARDS! people coming in for chips at lunchtime is a shock then? have the buggers ready!
 
Dogs that sniff my bum..I swear to god the next one that does it, I'm going to roll him on his back, pin his paws down and say 'My turn now brown eyes'
 
Phone numbers that say if you want thingy, press one, doo-dah,press two and so on, and when you do that, you have 30 other options on the next part.
 
Finally (and I'm turning into Victor Meldrew here)
 
People who just walk straight past without even a nod when you've stood there for 10 seconds holding the door open..rude bastards...

 10 
 on: September 17, 2018, 03:58:19 AM 
Started by Kandor - Last post by Kandor
I left Loxton St School in the July of 1964...well I had to really, they were knocking it down. In the school exams that year I finished 4th in my class...I was heartbroken.
Before that I had always finished in the top three, not because I was particulary clever of course, not at all,
most exams rely on you being able to remember what you had already been taught and luckily for me, my memory was excellent.

Duddeston Manor School was now open for business. Because of my previous school record they put me straight into class 2Y, that was the top class in that year,
there was no 'X' stream when I first started.
Secondly I didn't really want to go to Duddeston anyway.
I had never worn school uniform and above all things, I had never worn or wanted, to wear a tie. I think I had some phobia about them...and this new place?
It demanded you had it all, School blazer, badge, running kit, sweater, shirt, tie, the lot. My worst fears had all come true.

SILLY me! Why on earth had I worried? I started that first day in just black trousers, squeaky shoes, a grey shirt, a grey sweater...and...and...and...bugger all else.
Mom just couldn't afford it.
Most of the other parents could though.

So day after day after day, various teachers would call me over and tell me off for not having a school blazer,
they would demand I wore a school tie, proper gym clothing or things like an apron for woodwork..
bloody idiots, I couldn't afford underpants never mind a school apron and as for a school badge,
where did you want me to wear it? on my left nipple held up by a safety pin?

Every bloody week though I was doing detention for not having something...no point telling Mom though, that would just have made her sad.

Eventually I got together some semblance of what they thought was required and the telling offs slowed down...certainly to a level that I felt no stress about them.
I was put into Mr Flemings class, he taught German at Duddeston Manor which I found interesting, plus I found him to be a fairly decent guy.
He obviously had some impact on me, because even though I only did German for one full year, I can still remember lots of phrases and I can still count up to a thousand if I need to.
No, I don't need to.

I fell in love in the September of 1964..oh I fell in love EVERY day but this, THIS was a crush worth having.
No MORE skanky Jennifer Brook's who had defended me in my one and only game of kiss chase, no, this woman was a Goddess.
He name was Pat Egain and she was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen.
(The second most beautiful girl in the school was Vicky Hewson but that requires another story, another chapter in fact)

Oh she ignored me of course, women always did but at least she never hit me for dribbling down the back of her school uniform.
I couldn't believe Duddeston Manor! it was everything I ever wanted school to be...well in terms of facilities anyway.
I loved the gym, the Library and Wednesday club most of all.
It was in the school Gym one miserable Tuesday morning that I upset Micky Cartridge and he offered me out..
how sweet I thought, my first ever date...except...sigh, it wasn't a kiss he wanted, no, he much preferred to punch my head in.
Worse still, he TOWERED over me! he must have been at LEAST 5ft tall and I didn't get to that dizzying height until I started work 3 years later.

I can honestly say I wasn't frightened..well not until a friend pointed out he was one of the hardest kids in the year.
Then I can honestly say I STILL wasn't frightened..if only for the simple reason I had no intention of being there.
My plan was to slip out of school at the first bell, dash home via Scunthorpe and go off sick for 8 months with a sudden attack of Beri-Beri.

JUST as the bloody Gym class was ending Mr Croxall said ''Robinson, why aren't you wearing proper Gym pumps''? (I think I was in Wellies or something)
''Detention tonight, my classroom''..

Oh GOD! I nearly wet myself, all my plans to get away from Micky Cartridge were in ruins.
I sat in his detention room staring at the clock...minute after minute crawled by, marking ever closer, my imminent doom.
Eventually my time was up, I don't think Mr Croxall had ever used a crowbar to prise anyone out of the detention room before...

Writing a quick will on the back of a Spangles wrapper, I left all my worldly goods of two Jelly babies and a half chewed pencil to my friend Allan.
Walking like Jesus on my way to the cross I slowly made my way to the school gates.
THE COWARDLY bastard had got bored waiting and gone home! luckily for HIM too or I'd have battered him pretty! so all of a sudden my fake Beri-Beri was off the list and I lived to fear another day..

Jesus Christ...this was only my fourth week in my new school, I hope it gets better! 
It did.

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 10
Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2015, Simple Machines